Alarm goes off...my alarm is my cell phone. Since it is my cell phone, it is plugged in for the night. I grab it to turn the alarm off and the cord snags a glass of water on my nightstand and douses me, my phone and my bed with ice cold water. Phone seems to be okay, I hit the snooze and roll over after grabbing a towel.
However, all was not well...the phone had locked up, it still had the "ALARM" text on the outside display but wouldn't do jack when you opened the phone, no life whatsoever. Great, I owned my celly. By now, it is a full hour after my alarm originally went off and the cellphone went flying across the room and into the wall. It emits a wail apon impact and now works better than before. It now knows not to mess with me as it will have violence perpetrated apon its person.
So I'm late but the USS Nimitz needs fuel. I stop at the local Sunoco and toss 10 bucks at it. While I'm inside, I grab a cup of double-caffinated coffee which tastes something like an ashtray or an old sock. Shrugging about the awful taste of the coffee, I go out to the pump, pop open the gas door and start the fueling process. Well, Nimitz seems to not want gasoline given to it at such a rapid rate and the fuel filler neck backs up and it vomits gas all over my pants and hand. I smell like 89 octane and what little Axe body spray crap I had left in the can. Might as well be Sex Panther.
So my mood has further gone down the toilet. I'm sitting inside the car, smelling like gasoline but at least I have my coffee, right? What comes next is the icing on the cake...get ready. I pull out onto the street and begin to go towards work. Of course, my coffee is in the generic cupholder gimmick I've got sitting on the transmission tunnel. It's not the best thing out there but in 1988, nobody had cupholders in their cars...whatever. Light turns red in front of me so I stop. After waiting for a bit, it turns green and I softly accelerate away from the light, spilling my coffee all over the inside of the cupholder, filling it up and spilling it all over the transmission hump carpet. Mind you, the coffee cup has a lid on it that would take the fist of Zeus to remove and a hole barely big enough to drink out of yet it seems to think it can outflow an open paint bucket.
So yeah, today has started out in a rather spectacular fashion. I can't wait to see what the rest of the week brings me if today is any indication of things to come.
~Craig