John McGann's Blog

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Posted January 7 2009 09:04 AM by jm215900
Filed under: Editorials, Ford, Street Car Advice

Don't of the Week

As car guys, we can put up with a lot of crap. For example, none of my cars have had working air conditioning systems for years. No big deal. I can put up with loud exhaust, stiff springs, and tempermental clutches, but I cannot put of with boring. No matter how desperate I get, I could never own this car. Yes it’s economical and reliable, but so are my legs. I’d rather walk, thanks.

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Reader Comments:

1. Why not build it into a cool 21st Century interpretation of a '60s-style altered?

Fifty years ago, plenty of old, unwanted, snoozer Bantams, Crosleys, Fiats, Anglias, and even Borgwards delayed their final dates with the "crusher" by hosting wicked American V8s (one or sometimes two-at-time), tube frames, radically altered wheelbases, "giant meats," and other old school competition coupe modifications.

It's a timeless, blue-collar style of pure "Car Crafting" that ought come back in this era of deflated wallets and inflated muscle car prices.

Why hack together another "me-too" crate motor Camaro when the absolute, exhibitionist insanity of a neo-altered awaits?

And the jaw-dropping reactions of the I/M smog cops would be priceless . . . . (just be sure to have enough smog equipment to make them have to pass it)

460-BBF-Turbo-In-CC - Posted January 7 2009 09:43 AM

2. I see your point. It would be great to see the Smog station guy's figure out what to do with it.

jm215900 - Posted January 7 2009 01:35 PM

3. I can appreciate your suggestion about being different, but there is nothing you could do to make a Ford Aspire anywhere close to respectable. The old saying "You can't polish a turd" comes to mind.

Want different? How about an early 80s Ford Fairmont with a terminator motor and trans? Or an 80s fox Mustang with a turbo 2.3 or a blown 3.8 V-6 from a Super Coupe.

55_Hardtop_Guy - Posted January 8 2009 07:06 AM

4. They could have said the same thing about a Fiat Topolino

["The Topolino was the name given to an automobile model manufactured by Fiat from 1936 to 1955."

"The Topolino (the Italian name for Mickey Mouse, meaning "little mouse") was the name given to the first Fiat 500 which was one of the smallest cars in the world at the time of its production. Launched in 1937, three models were produced until 1955, all with only minor mechanical and cosmetic changes. It was equipped with a 569 cc four-cylinder, side valve, water-cooled engine mounted in front of the front axle, and so was a full-scale car rather than a cyclecar. (The radiator was located behind the engine.)"

"Its top speed was about 53 mph (85 km/h), and it could achieve about 39.2 miles per US gallon (6.00 L/100 km; 47.1 mpg-imp). The Topolino sold for about 8,900 lire. Nearly 520,000 models of the Topolino were sold."]

Yet a Topolino stuffed with 392 Hemi on an altered wheelbase (or even a legendary one fitted with 303-cube Ram Air Pontiac and a standard wheelbase SCCA "Trans-Am"-style chassis) have proven year after year to be blindingly bright "turds."

The smallest body/biggest engine vibe (if properly executed) will always resonate with many Car Crafters.

The big problem is that the NHRA rule book and the lemming-like behavior of most Car Crafters has homoginized our creative thoughts into either "stock body" doorslammers or the occasional cartoonish carbon-fiber-bodied funny car (albeit virtually never for the street).

Thus, it's up to risk-taking street machiners to keep the storied altered and gasser traditions alive.

And what better way to build a radical, cutting-edge altered for a new century (and tweak both the ricers and the "stock body" musclecar/pro street snobs) than with a "what if" Disposable-200x-econobox-meets-'60s-fuel-altered "street freak?"

Feel the vibe! Light the torch! Swing some iron!

BTW, that Terminator mill, outfitted with a more imposing supercharger would be a perfect 'plant for a neo-altered! But why hide it under the hood of a nondescript Fairmont (DOHC Mod motor in a Fairmont's been done).

460-BBF-Turbo-In-CC - Posted January 8 2009 09:11 AM

5. Of course the interesting thing is that back in 1971-1974, HOT ROD ran frequent articles about hopping up small-bore stuff like Type I VWs (Beetles), Vegas, Pintos, Colts, Gremlins and even Honda Civics.

Now, its only the young tuners who were born well after the automotive dark ages of the 1970s that will even consider crafting a cheap, non-V8 car (unless it's building a mega-buck pro-street poser out of one)

It seems that somewhere in the '70s or early '80s, hot rodders lost their spirit of innovation and appreciation for hopping-up anything that rolls. We've gotten lazy with bolt-ons and nitrous oxide. We've gotten snobbish by thinking that the only vehicles worthy of improving are basically old collector cars or factory-built muscle.

Given the fact that the FEDS are going to kill off or crush most or all of the affordable V8s over the next decade or so (in a misguided, myopic attempt to "save" the "Planet" and reduce our dependence on foreign oil), future Car Crafters will probably be "polishing turds" like that econobox in a dim shadow of what Car Crafting used to be like.

speedzzter - Posted January 9 2009 07:55 AM

6. DO YOU KNOW WHY THE PIECE OF CRAP IS CALLED AN ASPIRE???? BECAUSE IT ASPIRES TO GROW UP AND BE A REAL CAR SOMEDAY.PURE KOREAN TRASH...

84camaroart - Posted January 14 2009 01:20 PM

7. Uhhh... but aren't YOU driving an 84 CAMARO? Last I heard, those things are a nightmare. Leaky t-tops, horrendous cowl shake, wheezy 305s with pinched off exhaust systems, plasticky interior that smelled like armpit when it got wet...oh. Wait. I bet you FIXED all of that. Made it better...hmmm. Isn't that the POINT?

Stop throwing rocks. One might cause you an avalanche.

ratrod72 - Posted January 23 2009 08:41 AM

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Chevrolet Camaro Research

When purchasing a new car it is important to be prepared and know all the information in order to make a good decision. Research the Chevrolet Camaro and find reviews and information on fuel economy, features, options, specs, reviews and more. The 2010 Camaro goes for a suggested retail price of $22,245.00, and has drivers side crash test ratings of 6 stars and passengers side crash test ratings of 6 stars. The Pontiac G6 and the Dodge Charger are other vehicles that might interest you.

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